Facts Come in All Shapes and Sizes

Deciding there was no way for me to actually learn my husband's job in a single morning, I let my mind wonder to non-HVAC related things. I made a mental list of items I needed to check on as soon as I was in wi-fi range of my house. These are the facts, folks. Just the facts.

8:45 AM: "You need a 3-inch pad below the Mason-Dixon line," says the salesman at the Goodman depot.

Later, in the van...

Me: Is that possible? Can the Mason-Dixon line be considered a viable resource in modern code creation?
Paul: I don't know.
Me: But aren't there parts of NJ that fall below the Mason-Dixon line? So does that code apply? Or is that a general direction, like "down south"?
Paul: I don't know.
Me: I will have to look into this.

Fact: The Mason-Dixon line is not so much a line as a 2-line segment - a right angle or half of a square, if you will. Terrible cartography skills aside:

So below and included are not the same thing when it comes to Mason-Dixon geography. Though I still find it strange that we're using a 250 year old border resolution to describe 2012-2013 building codes.

9:15 AM: "I won!"

Fact: 7 and 13 are lucky numbers, based on the fact that I won $15 on a scratch-off with both 7 and 13 as 2 of the winning numbers.

Nothing to really research here. You can't fight the facts, folks.

9:30 AM: "I thought mosquitos were nocturnal?!" [whack. scratch. flick]

Fact: Mosquitos are NOT nocturnal. No, they are willing to suck your blood at any time of day, given the opportunity. And based on the information below, I was doomed from the start:

• Bigger people are often more attractive to mosquitoes because they are larger targets and they produce more mosquito attractants, namely CO2 and lactic acid.
• Active or fidgety people also produce more carbon dioxide and lactic acid.
• Women are usually more attractive to mosquitoes than men because of the difference in hormones produced by the sexes.
• Blondes tend to be more attractive to mosquitoes than brunettes.
• Smelly feet are attractive to mosquitoes – as is Limburger Cheese.
• Dark clothing attracts mosquitoes.
• Movement increased mosquito biting up to 50% in some research tests.
• A full moon increased mosquito activity 500% in one study (AMCA Fun Facts)

Ok, not all of those applied directly to me. But I have to give the American Mosquito Control Association (AMCA; conveniently located in Mount Laurel, NJ) credit for labeling these "Fun Facts." Isn't it great that we can laugh about the impossibly relentless and unpredictable mosquito population in our state. It's great. Great. So great that did you know that NJ has the "oldest still functioning mosquito control association in the United States"? Oh, and our state university even has a a few web pages dedicated solely to the research of the NJ mosquito population. It's a (disgustingly) diverse population, actually.

11:30 AM: "I know this smell..."

That statement sounded much better inside my head, given the electrical storm-like nature of triggered memories.

This scent was located in a small, outdoor utility closet that we accessed for the job. I opened it once: I know this smell. I opened it again to confirm my initial reaction, and took a big old whiff: It smelled just like my Aunt Gerry's house, when she lived at Medford Lakes.

Fact: Her house - and apparently this supply closet - smelled of cigarette smoke mixed with the warm scent of potpourri.

You weren't supposed to smell the cigarettes she smoked. Her potpourri had purpose: to disguise. It was a flaw-hiding scent, different than potpourri used purely for enhancement. I never would have had this memory moment - odd as it was - had I not been conned into working this job.

12 NOON: "...best steaks in South Jersey..."

Upon my suggestion/demand, we dined at Steak Out for lunch (ie, my payment for services rendered), our favorite steak joint. And apparently, Steak Out is so awesome that even South Jersey News was there to get the facts on just how good the food is.

Reporter: Did you order a steak?
Me: No, I ordered a chicken cheesesteak. [Side note: If you want LITERALLY THE BEST CHICKEN CHEESESTEAK EVER EVER, go to Steak Out. The Buffalo Chicken Cheesesteak is too good for even all-caps to express.]
Reporter: Oh. [sad face]
Me: But my husband did. He'll be right out, just washing his hands. He's got quite a personality, too.

And that, dear friends, is how Paul got discovered.

Nah. I'm just joking. But he was interviewed and video-recorded for their feature on cheesesteaks in the area.

Fact: Steak Out is the best steak joint going. And now there is video evidence to prove it.

4:00 PM: "It's hot."

Fact: It's hot today. And with that, I must get the f*** away from this computer and find a cooler place to sit. We only install the AC; we don't live with it.